Three years ago yesterday I was standing at the alter, hand in hand with you, surrounded by all of our closest loved ones, saying our vows and slipping on rings. I remember how you dipped me down low, planting that kiss on my lips, everyone clapping and teary-eyed, Julie playing our favourite song. I remember when I walked up the isle, all nervous and jittery, full of giggles. You couldn’t take your eyes off of me, and nothing in the world could have wiped that smile of yours off of your face. Doesn’t it seem only like yesterday that we were wed? Yes, and yet somehow it seems like a thousand miles away..
A thousand miles. We have travelled at least that far in these past three years, wouldn’t you say? Four provinces, three years, multiple moves all across the country. It has been exhausting, as you know, but it also has been one of my life’s greatest adventures. The things we did, the places we have seen, the towns and cities in which we have lived. Oh, I would follow you to the moon and back..
We have grown a lot over these past three years, I must say. We have learned that marriage is a conversation, that marriage is a dance. Oh, I remember. We were clumsy at first, yes. I remember how we stepped on each others toes, elbowing here and tripping each other there. We grew frustrated. We grew tired. But we never gave up. We’re not quitters, you and I. We made a commitment to stick together, through sickness and in health, for better or for worse.
And I remember those beginning days. Those days when I would cry, frustrated and emotional because all was wrong. Those days you would come to me and try to pick up the pieces, when all I wanted was for you to look at them silently and tell me it would be okay with your eyes. We still have that struggle sometimes, don’t we. You try to fix all my problems, not because you think I need fixing, but because you want to solve, to love. Sometimes I let you. Sometimes I need you to. Yet sometimes I just need you to sit silent, and hold me with my watery eyes and broken soul.
Do you remember when people told us that marriage was not a bed of roses? Funny, isn’t it, how actually they were wrong. They must have forgotten that roses come with thorns, sharp and long.
This dance we are learning, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Even if we step on each others feet, even if we get pricked with thorns. And oh, how I love and long for this conversation our marriage consists of. We mess it up, of course. We aren’t always the best communicators and/or listeners. But the joy that comes with learning a new language, of learning a new song, of getting one step correct. Even the joy of falling down in laughter, instead of in failure. How I love this..
Remember when we were courting, that certain night, that specific walk when I told you that I was falling in love? Yes, I fell for you. I fell for you hard. You’re dark handsome looks, those dimples in your cheeks, your cowboy boots and deep rumbling laugh. What I fell for most of all though was your heart.
You have the most beautiful heart I have ever known. Strong and yet gentle, passionate and yet compassionate, fierce and yet merciful. You have a giving heart that I adore, a determination that I admire. You are wonderful, beautiful, inside and out.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
And honey, I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of us, of where we have come. Thank you for loving me, for sticking with me to the end. This hasn’t been easy, but oh how rewarding. Life is journey, that is for sure. And I wouldn’t want to journey it without you by my side.
So here’s to three years, and the many more yet to come.
With all my love,