As I was perusing Pinterest this morning to keep myself sane within the circus of my home I came across a certain quote from Ann Voskamp. Upon the moment I clicked on the pin to better read the words, I happened to enter into a thin place, a place where the holy mingled with the mundane, a place where He spoke soft, gentle words of Truth into the area of my heart that was believing the dark, ugly lies of this world.
It’s no secret that the past week or so has been hard in a variety of different ways. But honestly, the biggest struggle for me has been fighting those past lies, lies that say you’re weak, you’re nothing, you can’t do this, you don’t have it in you, you are worthless, you will never be enough.
These lies of old, the ones that are rooted down to the depths of my heart, the ones that He and I are constantly working on uprooting together, come out of past moments of deep hurt and rejection. They were birthed during those times when I chose to open up my heart and lay it all down on the table in front of those whom I trusted, only to be spat upon in disgust.
Because of those times, it’s still hard for me to be truly vulnerable, to allow others to witness the emotional, broken mess that I am. But I have learned from experience that closing up out of fear, building that stone wall as a fortress of protection around one’s heart, does more harm than good.
And thus, regardless of what those lies tell me, I climb out from under the covers and reach out towards those whom He has placed beside me, those whose hands are holding on tight to my own, helping me down the path He has called me to journey on.
Ann Voskamp wrote “The world has enough women who live a masked insecurity. It needs more women who live a brave vulnerability.”
A woman who lives a brave vulnerability, that’s who I want to be.
I want to live in such a way that others who encounter me find permission to throw off their masks of having it all together and learn to find joy and beauty in the midst of this hurting and broken world.
With Him all things are possible, even beauty from ashes.
Here’s a quick note of thanks to all of those ladies who have been there to support me during this time of transition with our newest little. Whether you’ve simply helped to change a dirty diaper, or sent a text of random encouragement, it means the world to me. You mean the world to me.